How long was my streak again?

Today, a good friend of mine asked me a very important and interesting question: When was the last time I slept with a woman?

Of course he came to me with his question, because "why bother with someone else when you know the master?" (His words)And I didn't let him down. I told him about something I call the "how long was my streak again chart". He was impressed and said that he would check it out immediately after I publish it on my blog.

Now Tim, I'm sorry. This chart will not help, since your hair stopped growing a long time ago(Checked you out in the gym shower last week. But don't worry you have the best wing man on your side, so you will be faster bald than you can say "how long was my streak again."

Do You Suffer from Marriage?

Marriage \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\

Marriage is the penultimate symptom of the world's leading disease called “love”. The last symptom is, you know it, death!
Invented by some European guy, it somehow ended up in the promised land, a country which was actually supposed to be a place for guys like me, who tried to avoid this plague. Though a lot of people tried to fight it, there were always more people to fight for it. Today, marriage is more dangerous than ever before and it's expansion is unstoppable. But we all can do something to slow it down. As one of the last freedom fighters, I see at as my duty to encourage you to fight marriage! You don't have to do demonstrations or violent stuff. NO! It is much simpler than that. You should just not get married. Its so simple, guys. Tell it you friends. Just five friends and you'll help humanity.

Now, some guys are married and they don't even know it yet. Here are some signs that will help you:

Do you suffer from marriage?
Symptoms:
A golden ring on the finger next to your middle finger and pinky.
A woman that is always cleaning your house and making.
A big hangover after a busy night. (Check the finger)
A priest calling you once in a while.
Stuff like shoes, Tide, lipstick, Actually Love, or Desperate Housewives on your creditcard bill.

For guys who married voluntarily, I can just say that I'm sorry. I know how hard love can be and the stuff it forces you into is just horrible. Sleeping with one woman for the rest of your life.. just hearing it breaks my heart. I have no advises for you guys, I can just say that my prayers are with you!

You are welcome

-Sean

Lection II

First Impression.

I began to pick up girls at the age of 15 and since then, I've learned a lot of ways to impress girls within just five seconds. But I also learned that not every pick up line or every magic trick works on every girl. Before you choose what to say or what to do to leave good impression, you have to pick the right girl for your stunt. For example, I've learned that most brunettes do not like magic. They think its childish and dumb. Well, I don't think so, but since I just use those girls for fun, I do not tell them what I really think. No, I lie. But not everyone is a natural born lier like me, so you have to exercise first on your friends or parents. Guys who won't get angry or laugh at you, if you make a mistake. Since you won't marry this girl you can tell her whatever you want. You can be whatever you want to be. An astronaut, quarterback, firefighter, CEO or whatever comes into your mind. Just get some informations about the job before you use it.

[Don't use this jobs: police officer (they want to see a badge), actor (she doesn't know you= you suck at your job), cowboy (21th girls do not know cowboys), nurse( you know it..)]

Have to stop unfortunately. Later.

Sean

Lesson I

A lot of guys are coming to me lately, and they are all asking the same thing:”Sean, how do I get laid? What's your secret?” Well, unfortunately these guys are mostly asking me when I'm on prowl and when I'm on prwol I don't talk, not to my gender. But luckily for you I started this blog and you will learn everything you ever wanted to know about scoring girls.

Primerily you have to get some decent clothes. I won't tell you what to where but believe me that girls do not like guys in sport suits. What I also noticed is that more and more guys are wearing t-shirts with jokes written on it. Forget this stuff. 21^th century girls do not like to read (my blog= exception) and they prefer to hear funny stuff out of your mouth instead of your breast. Of course your choice of wardrobe should depend on where your pick up place is. Now, I'm a master of disguise so my look changes a lot. But I have to say that I prefer a simple shirt (not tucked in my jeans!), or of course a nice suit if I'm going to play the buisnessman card. But I can't tell you what to wear because you have to be 100% confindent in your clothes so you have to choose by yourself.

Self-confidence is the most important part of picking up a girl. You can be the hottest guy in the world (me) and still don't get a girl if you don't believe in yourself. So if you have serious problems with yourself stop reading immediately and get your problems under control. How? Well, I never faced such issues, but maybe you should hook up with a girl who is less attractive than you and who will definetly sleep with you, to gain some confindence. I assure you, that once you have overcome your issues, you will love your new found balls.

But confidence isn't enough. There a lot of other things that you have to preper before you can start hitting on a really good looking girl. For example you have to know what girls like to drink. You can easily find that out by observing here and watching what she orders. But if don't have the pro-eyes you might get a problem with that method. So you need to know by heart what girls like. So, is there one special dink girls all over the world like? Well, kind of. You can never go wrong with a cosmo. But some girls had to many of those, so they started to think that its boring. If that happens you have to have an ace in your pocket. Now listen good. This ace is called “Cranberry Cooler”. Girls just ldig this cocktail and it is even better if they have never drinked it before, because than they now how original you are.

Unfortunately my time is up, and I have to go now. But today you learned some very important stuff, keep it in your mind till my next entry.

You're welcome

-Sean

Introduction

Consider yourself lucky that you found my blog. Srsly, you are a lucky man because your life will change, starting today. You wanna know why? Well, thats simple- because I will tell you about the most epic stories of my love-life and trust me when I tell you that you can learn a lot out of this stories.

Now, let me tell you about my origin and how I became that person that I'm right now.
A couple of years ago, when I was sixteen and it was still fashionable to have a girlfriend, I dated a girl called Melissa. She was good loking, wild, and smart but she was also possesed. At our first date, which took place in a cinema (lame! I know), we already fooled around at stage1 (kissing, huging, girls stuff..) and I thought afterwards that it went really well, because she invited me to a second date at her home. Well, so I went there on the next weekend with some expectations and hopes to get to stage2 (the climax of the whole play= ... you got it!). And I have to say that everything started good, very good. Her parents opened me the door and I closed it watching them going away and giving me their daughter in my hands. Greatest start of a date ever! But like you already know, it went from best date ever to worst. So the door closed, her parents were gone, and I took my shoes and my jacket off, when it suddenly happened. Out of nothing, without any warnings, without enough time for me to prepare, he came. He, her brother, her retarded brother, ran towards me with such an unstoppable spped that I didn't have a chance to jump away from him. He grabbed me, assaulted me, hugged me, gave me a kiss.. it was disgusting. Now, there I was, getting abused by a mentally disabled kid instead of getting laid, but fortunatly it didn't take long till Melissa came and put this kid in his room, where he belonged for today. She apologized for her brother and I accepted. I played the save card and told her: "Don't worry babe, I like retards." It was that sentence that made the climax for me tangible. But like on all dates in the old days, I had to see a DVD with her first. After 1 1/2 horrible hours she finally introduced her bed to me. It was big, very big, and also soft, very soft. I sat down on it and looked at her, imagining her naked. I felt she was nervous, but I also felt that she wanted it, badly! So I made some sexy comments and my famous let my eyes sparkle so that I could finaly close the deal. But she had to go to search a romantic CD first. That is why I know alway have my own music with me. But back to the story. She was looking for a CD and after 5 minutes I decided to look through some of her stuff. After a minute I found a very interesting book. It was handwritten and looked like a notebook- but it wasn't. After some reading I found out that it was her diary and since I like diaries I didn't stop reading. The first pages where boring so I skipped to the end, and what I read the was just disgusting! She wrote that she met a supercute guy(me) and that she loves him. I love you. This phrase was already back than my sign to leave the room, or city. And so I sneaked out and left her alone with her brother, searching that CD.

Now, what I learned out of this experience is that you should always, ALWAYS close the deal on the first date. Never postpone it because you will end like me.

You are welcome.

-Sean