Introduction

Consider yourself lucky that you found my blog. Srsly, you are a lucky man because your life will change, starting today. You wanna know why? Well, thats simple- because I will tell you about the most epic stories of my love-life and trust me when I tell you that you can learn a lot out of this stories.

Now, let me tell you about my origin and how I became that person that I'm right now.
A couple of years ago, when I was sixteen and it was still fashionable to have a girlfriend, I dated a girl called Melissa. She was good loking, wild, and smart but she was also possesed. At our first date, which took place in a cinema (lame! I know), we already fooled around at stage1 (kissing, huging, girls stuff..) and I thought afterwards that it went really well, because she invited me to a second date at her home. Well, so I went there on the next weekend with some expectations and hopes to get to stage2 (the climax of the whole play= ... you got it!). And I have to say that everything started good, very good. Her parents opened me the door and I closed it watching them going away and giving me their daughter in my hands. Greatest start of a date ever! But like you already know, it went from best date ever to worst. So the door closed, her parents were gone, and I took my shoes and my jacket off, when it suddenly happened. Out of nothing, without any warnings, without enough time for me to prepare, he came. He, her brother, her retarded brother, ran towards me with such an unstoppable spped that I didn't have a chance to jump away from him. He grabbed me, assaulted me, hugged me, gave me a kiss.. it was disgusting. Now, there I was, getting abused by a mentally disabled kid instead of getting laid, but fortunatly it didn't take long till Melissa came and put this kid in his room, where he belonged for today. She apologized for her brother and I accepted. I played the save card and told her: "Don't worry babe, I like retards." It was that sentence that made the climax for me tangible. But like on all dates in the old days, I had to see a DVD with her first. After 1 1/2 horrible hours she finally introduced her bed to me. It was big, very big, and also soft, very soft. I sat down on it and looked at her, imagining her naked. I felt she was nervous, but I also felt that she wanted it, badly! So I made some sexy comments and my famous let my eyes sparkle so that I could finaly close the deal. But she had to go to search a romantic CD first. That is why I know alway have my own music with me. But back to the story. She was looking for a CD and after 5 minutes I decided to look through some of her stuff. After a minute I found a very interesting book. It was handwritten and looked like a notebook- but it wasn't. After some reading I found out that it was her diary and since I like diaries I didn't stop reading. The first pages where boring so I skipped to the end, and what I read the was just disgusting! She wrote that she met a supercute guy(me) and that she loves him. I love you. This phrase was already back than my sign to leave the room, or city. And so I sneaked out and left her alone with her brother, searching that CD.

Now, what I learned out of this experience is that you should always, ALWAYS close the deal on the first date. Never postpone it because you will end like me.

You are welcome.

-Sean